Robert Isbister

Known in the family as Rocket. This comes from the early days when he drove a red VW Beetle, He would be in 4th gear and over 50km/hr by the time he reached the corner - less than 100m away from our house. His car only seemed to have 2 speeds, stopped and flat out. The stopped part was normally either lack of petrol or mechanical difficulties.

In matters of love he was not a rocket. It took him 5 years to pluck up the courage to marry Pam. Her brothers have been celebrating ever since.

Robert used to play rugby. He was a loose forward. Probably a very fitting position name. Being of light build then, he was a regular casualty of the game. A part of our winter week end routine was to go up to the rugby gym at about 5pm, carry him out to the car and take him off to hospital. He was well known by the A&E staff. His major war wound was infectious arthritis in his hip. This finally did in his rugby career. Maybe it was after the ambulance drivers dropped him down the stairs. Eventually after 30 years he plucked up the courage to get his hip replaced. It was very boring at family gatherings for many years, with him forever rabbiting on about his hip.  If he hadn't had it done, we would have with the dinner knives.

Robert is a real team player. At such family dinners, we enjoy the odd bottle of wine. Robert likes to enjoy one too - his own.

Tools are a challenge for Robert. There is a well recounted incident of his bush clearing skills. We were clearing a section at Waikanae, for a family bach. The last bush was all that remained. Graham and Robert were cutting it down from either side of the bush, each with a slasher, giving it alternate blows from each side. Without any warning, Robert reached down and grabbed the trunk of the bush. WHACK - Graham's slasher came down on his arm. It didn't sever it, but we had to wrap a few shirts around his arm and rush him off to A&E again.  Such a visit in summer was rather a novelty. The staff were rather surprised too.

As I said tools are a challenge to Robert. Whenever you lend him a shovel, spade, hammer, pick, rake, etc, it always comes back with a new handle or a broken one. I don't know what he does with them, but it was such a guaranteed result we have all stopped lending him tools. He has similar problems with ladders. Not that he breaks them, but seems to be challenged to stay on them. We've stopped helping him paint his house -our nerves can't take the stress.

Robert is also challenged by technology. 5 years ago we showed him how to turn on his cell phone. I have never actually spoken to him on it. Maybe he lost it. On the other hand Pam has two cell phones and is always on the other one when you ring. She talks so much one cell phone isn't enough - the microphones wear out and need resting.

Pam and Robert do have a computer, and after 5 years of family dinners they have a printer. We grew tired of advising which model to buy - anything that makes marks on paper is fine. Thats about what they've got too. I'm told Pam uses the computer to email Sarah their daughter. I know Robert knows where the computer is. I have seen him in the same room, but don't ever expect him to use it or send an email. After all the Internet has only been going for 30 years now, so its hardly mature technology.

Pam and Robert have two lovely children, Matthew and Sarah, both surprisingly well adjusted considering the circumstances. After all who would give their son a toy lawn-mower for Christmas. Its a bit like a toy drum, but louder. Sarah was given a credit card. She follows in her mothers footsteps.

And then there are the dogs.  The first one was Liselle, know in the family as Lethal. You can guess why. The current one is called Sophie-Rat. Be warned - she bites. Sophie-Rat enjoys perfect health. At least officially she does. We are not allowed to say more until Sarah gets home, but suffice it to say that she doesn't ride in Robert's car any more. Both of them really do need a leash to keep them under control.